Where do I sit, and who pays?
Short answer
Wait to be told where to sit — the seat facing the entrance belongs to the host or guest of honour. And expect the host to insist on the bill.
Seating is assigned, not chosen
The seat facing the entrance is the most important one and is kept for the host or the guest of honour. So the polite move on arriving is to wait until someone tells you where to sit rather than taking the nearest chair.
The seat opposite the entrance goes to the co-host, positioned to talk to staff and keep the ordering moving. Once you know those two anchor points, the rest of the table makes sense.
Toasting has a shape
Wait for others to give a toast before you start drinking. If you want to give one yourself, stand up and hold the cup with both hands.
Then the detail that carries the meaning: hold your cup lower than your host's. It is a deliberate gesture of respect, and it is small enough that getting it right is noticed more than getting it wrong is punished.
The bill is a contest you will lose
Offering to pay is polite, and the host will usually insist on covering it anyway. Both halves of that are expected — the offer is not a formality to skip, and the refusal is not an opening to push against.
If you want to be the one paying, the phrase is 我请客 (wǒ qǐng kè), "it's on me". If someone else pays, thank them properly and offer to host the next meal. That is the exchange that keeps the balance rather than reaching for cash at the table.
Good to know
- Wait to be shown your seat rather than sitting down
- Hold your cup lower than the host's when toasting
- 我请客 (wǒ qǐng kè) is how you claim the bill
